Wanting Marriage As A “Hoe” In The LGBTQIA+ Community Today: My Truth

By Jesse Riggs

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Who can say they haven’t thought about marriage? Okay. If you can, then tell me have you considered how others feel about marriage? The person you just hooked up with the other night has been dreaming about getting married to another person his whole life. That person was me... well the hump and dump in the situation. But yeah, me.

I know what you’re thinking, “Marriage is an ancient ideal; a relic in society...” or “Who needs it? Plus... sex”. I guess what I mean by “marriage” is the marrying of two (or more) souls/energies/lives to better the other(s). Not one more important than the other, but together.

I’m a 26 year old openly-gay man living 2018 in Seattle, WA. Not only in this city beautifully diverse, rich with character and life, but it’s painfully lonely. You see, I’m a sap for love. I’ve never felt it and I have always fantasized about what it would be like, but I’m a sex-positive guy, who often thinks with his junk. I think about guys all the time. The ones passing by, the ones walking in-front-of me on the escalator, the ones who are literally walking out of the bathroom... guys. I love the various forms of men. Bears, Twinks, Otters (me)... and don’t even get me started on the color pallet! Men are delicious and have such a spell on me. This is my problem, Lust vs. Love.

As horny as I stay, I’m equally distressed about being alone. Sex is a filler for me. Like a fat kid to cake, I am sucker for a good “sucker”. Sex is also isolating at times. You get what you want, then play with it, then it’s gone(and more than likely to never come back again). Poof. So now you can see my dilemma.

I’m the kind of person who has several Pinterest boards and one is heavily pinned with ideas for my “dream" wedding. From color pallets, centerpieces, and floral arrangements to the style of the seating I want facing the altar. I mean seriously guys,  it’s a good thing I’m not a psycho for a guy. This could be scary if viewed in the wrong way. It’s ALSO everything and more of what I want the “perfect" day to be. I just want to share my life with someone. It doesn’t have to be planned as extravagant as my comments desire it to be, but I do want it to be one of the most memorable things I experience! I want to know what “passion” is. Where my desire to LOVE someone can match my endless tank of LUST.

Now I turn to you my readers. What do you prefer, Lust for a moment OR Love forever? I have many thoughts and feelings on this matter and I could really use help from you. Your thoughts, insight, experiences, and hell even your TRUTH. This is 2018. Where do you stand?