The paranoia, isolation, and depression begin to set in while filming season 13 of Deadliest Catch for Discovery Channel. I am a full blown drug addict and alcoholic. I wonder when I became okay with being strung out on methamphetamine while filming an extremely popular reality show. How did I justify this behavior that has now taken hold of my life? Rolling around in my bunk sweating in pain and agony,. I feel like I am going to die. To top off the misery of withdrawals, we begin fishing the most violent waters on the planet.