By Chris Heide
At the start of Super Bowl LIV, Demi Lovato unequivocally nailed the national anthem. It is the second live performance that Lovato has crushed in less than a week and is a highlight in her recent comeback story. At this year’s Grammy Awards, Lovato debuted her latest single, ‘Anyone’: a heart wrenching, brutally emotional song that she wrote just four days before her highly publicized overdose in 2018. The song depicts the desperation and isolation that an addict can feel in the moments before they cry out for help.
It is no secret that Lovato has struggled with addiction for many years and has become a prolific face of the recovery movement. For any recovering addict, Lovato’s overdose was deeply painful to witness. It was a stark, stigmatized, and public reminder that addiction does not discriminate. It is a lethal, destructive disease that can, and will, claim the life of anyone.
As a recovering addict myself, Lovato’s overdose was reminder that my own personal fight against addiction is a daily battle- one that most people do not understand. I have been sober for nearly 7 years and I still have to prioritize my recovery. Like Lovato, I am an opioid addict and am one of the many addicts who have been consumed by the opioid epidemic. In 2018 alone, over 67,000 people died from an opiate overdoes, which is greater than the number of people who died in the Vietnam and Iraq Wars combined. While the total number of deaths is down 4% from 2017, addiction is killing an unfathomable number of people. These statistics are attributed to opioid-related deaths, which means that the total number of deaths caused by addictions of all kinds, is astronomically high. It is a crisis and an epidemic that continues to ravage too many lives.
As early as I can remember, I felt different from my peers. It was as if something was missing; like I had a secret, and if anyone found out, I would be hated and despised. It didn’t matter that I had no idea what the secret was; I just knew I had to wear many masks to assimilate into the world around me. I had to protect my secret at all costs.
Because of this desperation to stay hidden, I sought out various means of instant gratification that would allow me distraction from that feeling of eccentricity. After a time, this process of immediate satisfaction led me to drugs and alcohol. Those substances provided me with the euphoric relief that I had been searching for my entire life. Relief from the voice inside my head that constantly screamed that I would never be good enough.
I felt comfortable in my skin; connected to the world and accepted by my peers. The idea that I wasn't good enough temporarily dissipated. I could be present and comfortable, even if only for a moment. It was during this time that I was also struggling to come to terms with my sexuality. Ever since I was a child, I knew, deep down, that I was gay. Drugs and alcohol fueled my experimenting with my sexuality and made it more tolerable.
Of course, as with all methods of altering feelings, the rewards were short-lived. As my addiction took control, the consequences piled up. After just a few short years, I landed in treatment after an intervention from my family and boyfriend. It is exhausting trying to manage a disease over which you have lost all control. Addiction is paradoxically comforting, as it is simultaneously soothing and fatal. Alcohol and drugs had become my best friend, albeit that toxic friend who constantly brings drama and negativity to your life.
Unfortunately, treatment was not a significant enough of a stop gap. Within weeks of completing treatment, I returned to using drugs and alcohol to cope with the stressors in my life. During those last two years of my active addiction, I became virtually homeless and unemployable. My selfish and erratic behavior had pushed away nearly all of my friends and family and I was on the verge of losing my freedom. For years, my bipolar disorder (a diagnosis that I share with Lovato) and subsequent drug addiction fooled me into thinking that what I needed was the familiarity of chaos. As I began to pick up the pieces of my shattered life in my early recovery, I slowly realized that what I was truly craving was a sense of belonging and a sense of peace. To the surprise of no one, as sobriety progressed and my life became whole, my bipolar symptoms began to abate.
I am grateful to have found recovery, especially since America is in the midst of an opioid epidemic. In fact, drug abuse is now the leading cause of death for Americans aged 25-50. Given the gravity of my disease- my addiction- I should surely be dead but will instead be celebrating seven years of recovery on March 19th.
Demi Lovato’s remarkable recovery, both from her addiction and bipolar disorder, especially after such a painful and public overdose, is nothing short of remarkable. Lovato was been reported to have worked diligently on her recovery since her overdose; she has, piece-by-piece, demonstrated resilience as she has fought past the stigma of her overdose, to return to the public eye healthier than ever.
Last year, in a series of posts via her Instagram story, Lovato shared how determined she is to maintain a life of sobriety. “Grateful that AA/NA never shuts the door on you no matter how many times you have to start your time over. I didn’t lose 6 years; I’ll always have that experience but now I just get to add to that time with a new journey and time count. If you’ve relapsed and are afraid to get help again, just know it’s possible to take that step towards recovery. If you’re alive today, you can make it back. You’re worth it,” she said.
Since then, Lovato appeared to take the necessary steps and time to heal, before she thrust herself back into her public persona and life. She prioritized her recovery before everything else.
Whether she wanted to or not, she has become an icon for millions of recovering addicts all around the world. To go from life-changing overdose to performing the national anthem at the Super Bowl is beyond inspiration. She is a visceral, shining example that recovery is possible. This comeback is a manifestation of triumph over the depth of despair and isolation that addiction brings. Lovato’s openness about her journey is fundamental to dismantling the stigma that is still surrounding addiction.
The fact that her performance of the national anthem is the current pinnacle of her comeback, it is impossible to not compare her to Whitney Houston, whose rendition of the national anthem is considered one of the most iconic performances of all time. Unlike Lovato, however, Whitney was not able to overcome the addiction that ultimately took her life. The comparisons are undeniable, especially given their respective performances of the nation anthem. The only difference is that Lovato was given the support and opportunity to battle her addiction, through the support of her sober network and families. Who knows what may have happened with Whitney if the stigma around addiction has been dismantled and if she had received the same kind of support?
Regardless, Lovato has managed to achieve a comeback that is sure to inspire individuals struggling with addiction all over the world. As a fellow addict, I can attest to the motivational impact of Demi’s triumphant resurgence. She embodies the hope that keeps the prospect of recovery alive and well. May she continue to traverse her journey with courage, resilience, and humility.